


Running (From The Wolves)

by NinjaSalad



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: (also also not really described like at all), (also forgot that tag lolol), (also not really described like at all), (completely forgot about that tag whoops), (it's really quick and not described like at all), (pmuch just for the first chapter), (them's potty mouths!), ASL, Alternate Title: Benji Is Trans And Autistic A.K.A I'm Projecting Way Too Much And Lovin' It, American Sign Language, Amnesia, Angst, Angst Lite™, Autism, Autistic Benji Dunn, Autistic Character, Blood, Concussions, Echolalia, Except I'm Also Projecting Onto Ethan And McFreakin' Losing It, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Ethan Hunt, Overstimulation, Stimming, Stream of Consciousness, Temporary Amnesia, Trans Benji Dunn, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Vomiting, but more like, cursing, head wounds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-04 02:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15832161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaSalad/pseuds/NinjaSalad
Summary: running.why was he running?it felt like all he ever did was run.__________________________________________Benji is in trouble, and he doesn't even know it.He doesn't seem to know much of anything at the moment, to be honest.





	1. Getting Lost In The Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote most of this—and the next—chapter from 1AM to 4 AM on Saturday, August 25th in one go so basically _No Betas We Die Like Men_.
> 
> this is kinda Stream Of Consciousness but For Reasons (i.e. how it came to me lol) and will be less confusing the next chapter! but if anyone wants to know what's Happening i will explain in the end notes!
> 
> chapter title is from Walk The Moon - Lost In The Wild

running.

 

 

~~_why was he running?_ ~~

 

 

it felt like all he ever did was run.

 

 

~~_why is he running?_ ~~

 

 

a loud bang echoes close by.

 

 

~~_too close, way too close._ ~~

 

 

ah. so that's why he was running.

 

 

~~_but…who is 'he'?_ ~~

 

 

the bangs get closer, as if the sound itself was gaining on him.

 

 

~~_who is gaining on him?_ ~~

 

 

he hears another bang from ~~_t_ _ooclosetooclose_~~  the side, he looks to his left for the source of the ringing in his ears and the warm liquid ~~_running_~~ down the side of his head and sees someone pointing a ~~ _n AK-47_~~  gun at him from a _fucking tank_ and he somehow dodges a potshot from the gunner.

 

 

running for his life, he barely hears a screaming sound over the tinnitus in his brain.

 

 

it sounds like. a voice? yelling a name? is it his name?

 

 

~~_who is he?_ ~~

 

 

the gunman on his left goes down, courtesy of the man running up on his ~~_whoishewhoishe_~~ right side.

 

 

the man looks familiar, like Déjà vu when you're in the crowded supermarket and feel like you saw the exact same package of ground beef last week but knew it couldn't be possible because you Bought And Cooked And Ate The Ground Beef and oh the man is saying something what is the man saying _what is the man saying it's too loud he can'T HEAR WHAT ~~THE BEEFCAKE~~ THE GORGEOUS MAN IS TRYING TO TELL HIM WHAT IS THE MAN SAYING O_ h now the man is signing something he knows sign language he took a course on it back in college and that sure is coming in handy right now in seeing that it looks like the man is asking if _he's alright_ with much concern on the _~~beefcake~~ _ man's face

 

 

~~_but…who is he?_ ~~

 

 

* * *

 

he stops running.

 

 

_~~who is he?~~ _

 

 

he's so exhausted, he can barely get enough oxygen into his lungs to power his brain which is  _currently on fire thank you very much._

 

_~~who is he?~~ _

 

 

he decides to sit down, right on the ground where it's nice and comfy and he never wants to move again everything hurts and _**This is why you should exercise more,**  _avoice that is _not_ _his own_ tells him.

 

 

~~_wHo iS He?_ ~~

 

 

his brain is mush, he can't think gay, can't even think _straight_ , everything is happening _so much_.

 

 

_~~WhO iS hE?~~ _

 

 

something touches his shoulder.

 

 

something should _not_ be _touching his shoulder_.

 

 

_Something is going to break in three seconds if it does nOT STOP TOUCHING HIS S H O U L D E R._

 

 

...something stops touching his shoulder.

 

 

 ~~ _…who is he?_~~  

 

 

apparently, the something either has telepathy, can read body language like a pro, or C: he just screamed out loud what he _thought_ he had only been _thinking_.

 

 

~~_who is he?_ ~~

 

 

...it was probably the telepathy, though.

 

 

the ~~_something_~~ some _one_ comes around to _~~HiS~~_ front to…do something. maybe talk? talking would be nice about now. he wishes he could talk right now. being stuck _~~alone~~_ in his head is never any fun.

 

 

 _ ~~who is~~ — ~~wai~~ t. it's th_e man from earlier. _the beefcake._  who is that man?

 

 

what do they want?

 

 

the man is…signing. what's the man signing? maybe he should pay attention.

 

 

…nope, that's too hard right now. better do something easier, like cry.

 

 

or vomit.

 

 

right onto the nice man's shoes.

 

 

…shit.

 

 

shitshitshits _hitshitshitshit_

 

 

_he's gonna die he's gonna die he'sgonnadiehe'sgonnadie—_

 

 

…but The Nice Man does nothing.

 

 

well, except maybe make a sad face at him, and try to mouth-talk some more but he _~~can't~~   _doesn't hear him.

 

 

...why is the nice man sad?

 

 

...is it because he tossed his cookies all over the nice man's nice shoes?

 

 

the nice man ~~_somehow_~~ ignores the gross stuff on his black ~~_running_~~ shoes, crouches, and reaches out towards him slowly, but it still scares the crap out of him, causing him to pinwheel backwards and slam into something hard and unforgiving, like that dried out and tough turkey that accidentally got left out overnight from the thanksgiving dinner party because _everyone_ forgot about the grey thursday deals and _**sammie needs a new playstation 4 controller**_ since the last one got tossed out the window while roughhousing and playfully chewed up by mr. tinkles the next-door neighbor's _adorable_ black labrador-slash-golden retriever that looks like the chocolate-and-vanilla marble cake from that one really cute supermarket down the street from his house that bakes them fresh every morning and are such a delightful treat to get on his way to work with his colleagues and family _and_ he just realized he's been spacing out for a good two and one half (2 1/2) minutes while the nice man just. 

 

 

stares right at him.

 

 

...well that's not creepy at all, no siree bob nope nuh-uh not a chance _no way jos é_  time to up and ~~_go home?_~~ leave this fucking cold place seriously where the hell _is_ he, all he knows is he's on top of some tough ground-ish stuff that has no give and hurts to slap even more than it might usually since _everything is on freezing fire_ and also _everything is happening so much all the time could he please get a **mcfreakin'**  break—_

 

and that's when he passes out.

 

 

~~_ahhh. sweet, sweet, unconsciousness._ ~~

 

 

~~_now he can finally get some peace and quiet._ ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since this chap was super confusing:
> 
> Benji has a head-wound, and is running away from Bad People on an Airplane Runway and doesn't know what's happening.
> 
> He's getting shot at by some Asshole Bad-Person and starts bleeding from his ear because one of the rounds got really close to his head.
> 
> Ethan saves him from getting body-shot, and then Benji is exhausted from running like the dickens, sits down to rest, gets a tad overstimulated, barfs on Ethan, experiences a spoopy time from Ethan trying to calm him down, then passes out.
> 
> :3c


	2. Head First, And No Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Verse, Diff'rent Than The First!
> 
> here's where everything starts to make a _leetle_ more sense. 
> 
> ...okay maybe not, but at least i tried and that's what counts! yay!
> 
> everything that's bold and italicized is a quote/reference! try and see if you can name all of them! because uh. my brain decided to put like all of those as i was writing and not like. after i wrote it? so it's all my Big Mood Autistic Brain doing whatever it so desires ' v ')b
> 
> chapter title is from Walk The Moon - Aquaman

Waking up in what appears to be a hospital bed, judging by the awful smell of A Literal Tonne of Antiseptic and the Blindingly White Walls and Too Bright Ceiling Lights, he scrunches his eyes shut and moans in pain from everything being too mu _ch too muchtoomuchtoomuch—_

 

The door in front of him clicks open.

 

His head snaps up and the Heart-Rate Reader Machine Thingy kicks into ** _maximum overdrive!_**

 

Heh heh, SpongeBob is hilarious in any situation.

 

A figure pokes their head through the—now a little more than—ajar door.

 

"Benji?"

 

It's The Nice Man. What're they doing here?

 

The Nice Man's face scrunches in ~~_concern_~~ confusion.  
  
"Benji, are you okay?"

 

The Nice Man is asking if a person named 'Benji' is okay.

 

Clearing his throat, he tries to speak.  
  
"Who's 'Benj–'"

 

And immediately starts coughing profusely.

 

 _Great_. First his head was filled with lava, and now his throat was filled with Pointy Glass Shards? He didn't think his day could get any worse.

 

_**Think ah-gain!** _

 

What was Sandy Cheeks doing in his brain? Probably trying to find some jellyfish to wrangle.

 

...Or something like that.

 

Oh, he was so distracted by his brain's Need To Quote he didn't even notice The Nice Man™ get closer to him until they give him a cup of water to chug like the dickens to relieve his Supremely Painfilled Throat.

 

Huh. The Nice Man® smelled really good.

 

Like a forest after it had rained.

 

A Rained-Forest?

 

Haha. Good one, himself.

 

Brought out of his revery by a quiet chuckle in his direct vicinity, he turns to look at The Nice Man.

 

"I'm glad you like it, considering you picked it out for me," The Nice Man says whilst smiling softly, which confuses him.

 

_So much._

 

He _totally_ didn't say anything out loud, only in his head. Hm. So The Nice Man is a telepath, like he thought. _**Score one for the boys back home!**_

 

Dude, the SpongeBob crew was on a _fucking roll_ today, _hell yes_.

 

… _Wait_. When did it get approximately 42% less bright in this fuck-awful excuse for a Place Of Healing?

 

The Nice Man clears their throat ~~_lucky bas turd_~~ to get his attention and answers the Definitely Not Spoken Aloud Question.

 

~~_Is he talking without meaning to?? whelp._ ~~

 

"I noticed you squinting, and you seemed uncomfortable, so I turned the lights down a bit. Is that alright? I can change it back if you want. No pressure or anything, though."  
The Nice Man accented this statement by waving their hands side to side in an _It's Okay If You Do And Also If You Don't_ kind of way.

 

Still really, really confused and also in a lot of pain, he decides to ask The Nice Man a question he's been wondering since he was running ~~_running running why is he running_~~ on the tarmac earlier, before he passed out after vomiting on The Nice Man's Nice Shoes oh jeez he still feels _absolutely bloody terrible_ about that:  
  
"What's your name?"

 

The Nice Man looks very, _very_ sad at that query.

 

Shit. The Nice Man looks like a kicked puppy fuck fuck _fuckfuckfuckfu c k._

 

 _ **You've fucked up a perfectly fine human is what you've done! look at them, they'**_ re t _OO FUCKING S A D!_

 

The Nice Man looks shocked and also very concerned at the same time.

 

...It's not a very good look.

 

 

The Nice Man tries to compose themself but it ~~_**won't**_~~  doesn't _**work.**_

 

The Nice Man carefully sits down on the edge of his _horrid_ hospital bed and then holds out their hand.

 

It's a perfectly good hand. Used for. Uh. Holding other hands? Maybe a coffee mug  ~~ _or a gun_~~.

 

"My name is Ethan. I'm…well…"  
~~The Nice Man~~ _Ethan_ , after a few seconds pause, takes their hand back awkwardly and reaches inside their Top-Two(2)-Buttons-Are-Undone-For-Fashion dress shirt and pulls something on a chain out from the confines of their Death Trap of a shirt _seriously that thing was so tight he wouldn't be surprised if The Nice Ma—_ Ethan _suddenly got strangled by it out of nowhere and oh my gosh there's a shiny thing on the chain that's so fucking cool what is it what is it???_

 

The Nice– _Ethan_ finally finishes getting the chain out from under their shirt and takes it off to lay it on the bed next to his legs.

 

Staring at it blankly for ten seconds, he looks back up and states,  
"…I don't know what this is." Managing to get the words out, but the sound is gravely; hard to decipher.

 

Somehow Th– _Ethan_ seems to understand him just fine.

 

...That's neat.

 

Looking like they're trying to hold back An Emotion™, Ethan clears their throat _a–fucking–gain_  in preperation of clarifying what the Shiny Thing On The Chain means to his chicken soup-filled brain.

 

Ethan then stands up from their sitting position to slowly pace the room, likely to avoid scaring him.

 

~~_Too Late For That, Vaquero; The Anxiety Train has left the Hellish Station, and he's already a gotdamned mess._ ~~

 

"It's…it's a wedding ring. Yours, actually. I was…holding on to it for you."  
Ethan looks like they're about to start crying at any moment and _he can't take it he needs to help how can he help if he can't even think about Hachi: A Dog's Tale without tearing up oh sHIT THERE ARE TEARS ON ETHAN'S FACE ~~ABORT A B O R T~~ ENGAGE COMEDY PROTOCOLS_

 

"Uh. Um…uh. Are you alright? Can I get you anything, like a moist towelette or. Something??" Asking voice somehow sounding semi-regular even if he's fucking _dying on the inside it should be illegal to look that fucking sad holy fucking bollocks._

 

Ethan just starts laughing and crying at the same time and _that should be made even **m o r e** illegal._

"Shit, sorry, you're literally in the hospital for a head injury and I'm just…laying all my problems on you when you should be resting instead…I'll come back later, sorry," Ethan turns to leave before his hand shoots out and grabs their arm before they can take even two steps away from the bedside.

 

Hoping he doesn't look as desperate as he feels, he tries pulling ~~_The Beefcake_~~ Ethan back towards himself in a fit of terror.  
"Wait! Please don't leave! I'm…actually in a lot of pain. And confused. Pain-fused. Conpained? And can you pretty please tell me what the bloody hell is going on???"  
A few tears involuntarily leak out of his eyes as the world starts to swim in front of him while he was asking The Hard Hitting Questions.

A **_Super-Dee-Duper_** concerned face juts right into his perspective, and basically whisper yells into his eyeballs.

 

"You're in pain?! Oh my god, Benji why didn't you tell me sooner Oh god where's the call button we need to get you a nurse you're still hurt _fuck_ why didn't I realize earlier oh god _stupid, stupid Ethan_!!"

 

The Upset Man harshly, yet shushed-ly spouts while hitting their forehead and searching for The Call ** _Button Of Doom_**.

 

"…Okay, then." Sliding the button under his sheets when the other isn't looking, but apparently their _ears sure were listening oh dear fuck_.

 

Looking a bit wild, Ethan demands the Call Button from him,  
"Benji, babe, give me the Call Button _right now_ , please," tacking the 'please' on automatically, like it's something that comes natural to them.

 

It just sounds frightening to him, though.

 

"No, not until you answer my question!"  
Is shouted back at Ethan, whomst is looking for all the world like a deranged Serial Lumber Jack the likes of which have _never before been seen in this entire universe._

 

…All this yelling is really getting to him.

 

Huh.

 

Better do something about that, yeah?

 

~~_Good Idea, me._ ~~

 

Thanks, me.

 

But Ethan has already lunged for the Demon Summoning Device, which has succeeded in scaring the crap out of him and causing him to scream and _ **drop it like it's hot drop it like it's hot.**_

 

Okay, maybe not the best idea to be doing when some dude you barely know is suddenly _on fucking top_ of you and oh the room sure is spinning really really fast kinda like those merry-go-rounds you find at public parks and wowzers Ethan smells _so fucking nice he just wants to bask in the amazing smell five-ever it smells better than McDongle's Bloody Hotcakes why are they called hotcakes anyways fucking nobody calls them that even though it's literally what the menu calls them oh wait it sounds like Ethan's trying to get his attention what do they want? let's listen!_

 

Holding him gently but closely, Ethan begins to ramble platitudes and promises.

 

"Benji, I'm gonna buy you all the fucking frozen yogurt you want after this, and then travel to _Hell_ to _kill_ the people that hurt you _again_ , and then we'll go that pizza place you _love_ , the one where they put tiny tables inside the pizza boxes to keep the cheese from getting stuck to the top inside of the box, and then I'm gonna _Re-visit Hell_ to tear those _assholes_ some _new ones_ —"

 

Ethan is shaking.

 

 

Why are they shaking?

 

 

Are they mad at him?

 

 

…No, they're mad at whoever made his head feel like a pair of maracas that are being _slammed_ against a boulder over an _d over and over and over._

 

 

That's…very nice of them.

 

 

Still don't know what the _bloody hell 's_ going on, though.

 

 

The hug feels like what he expects a hug from a one-hundred-and-fifty pound Wall Of Pure Muscle and _warmth_ to feel like. 

 

Which is to say: _Fucking Superb You Funky Huge Dude._

 

 

And he would _love_ to stay six _ **-** **ever**_ , but there are more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.

 

 

Like the fact that his bladder is about to _explode_ at any moment.

 

 

And that his head is _also_ going to explode.

 

 

Reaching up to pat the Definitely Isn't A Lap Dog of a person on their back, he delivers with finality:

   
"Ethan, I would absolutely _love_ to keep this Snugglefest going, but I _will_ piss myself if I don't get to the toilets in about ten seconds."

 

 

* * *

 

 

After being carried across the threshold of the Magical Toilet Chamber, and begging _please let me whizz in peace_ and with the assurance _yes I promise to sit down while I'm in here I can't even pee standing up you **nimnul**_ to the almost-panicking Ethan, he finally gets a moment to himself.

 

 

…he hates it.

 

 

It's too quiet.

 

Well, there's a conversation partner right outside the door, so let's have a good chinwag yeah? Yeah, that sounds good.

 

"Ah, hm, so, how's your day been?" he asks, after 'letting loose' as one might put it.

 

He hears what sounds like a muffled sob from _ **the other side** _ of the door, and cringes externally since no one can see him anyways.

 

And then also hears sniffling.

 

Oh dear god, this'll be the death of him: Here Lies…what's his name again? _**What's my** _ name _**again?**_

 

 

Bringing him out of his thoughts, The Nice Ethan speaks in a warbling tone: voice moments away from cracking like a post-prepubescent teenager.

"I thought…I thought that I had lost you forever, Benji."

 

More sniffling.

 

 

…It hurts his heart.

 

 

But…

 

 

…he listens.

 

 

Ethan manages to continue.

 

"When you fell from that cliff…we searched for you, for _hours_ , Benji. After the first ten, IMF wanted to call it off, thought you might already be…"

Ethan takes a very sharp _**inhale**_ , and heaves a heavy **_outhale_**.

 

 

 _Gone_ , he thinks.

 

 

Hearing some more sniffling, and also something liquid-like that sounds suspiciously _not like tears_ , he experiences how the kind, gentle, tough, _hot as fuck_ , Ethan sounds as they break down.

 

 

It's like a car crash in slow motion, but without the visuals.

 

 

In a word: _Horrifying_.

 

 

Steeling himself against the onslaught of Unwanted Emotions™, he leavers himself up from The Big White Phone to wash his hands and then maybe ~~_definitely_~~ comfort the person that ~~_loves him_~~ cares for him and saved his life, but doesn't get even three steps before the world explodes into bright swirling pinks and greens and purples and suddenly he's _**lying on the cold hard ground**_ and Ethan is shouting for a…norse? What's Loki gonna do, give him CPR? Feed him to Fenrir?

 

 

And that's when he realizes his head is a bleeding mess.

 

 

_Again._

 

 

Looking up from ~~his?~~  supine position, he sees what appears to be An Medical Personnel coming over to assist in _~~probably~~ _ stopping the bleeding _~~or something like that~~_.

 

 

Oooh, so _that's_ who The Beefcake was calling for.

 

 

Well.

 

  
Fuck?

 

 

~~_Yup._ ~~

 

 

 _Fuck_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if y'all want i can put a comment with all the quotes/references' origins? i think i remember them all, but if i don't i'll just ask people i know to tell me lmao
> 
> leave a kudos and/or comment if you'd like to! even just the letter F is McFreakin' Amazing (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡


End file.
